end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
