And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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