i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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