it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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