Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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