we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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