thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize