yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
