Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
