this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
