sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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