check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
