And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
