I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize