Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
