My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Say something about gay babies.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
