i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it hurts more in the daytime
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
