Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
barbara walters just said penis...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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