i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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