Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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