I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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