Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
