So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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