I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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