Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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