He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you had me at cake vodka
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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