Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
