either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
