you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
