So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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