Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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