I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
