Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
