I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
