Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize