ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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