Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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