Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
