I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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