I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
