The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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