it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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