My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you didnt know i had herpes?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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