There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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