I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
