Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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