Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
