but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
