your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
