Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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