Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
