I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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