I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm always down for nudity.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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