i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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