What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
