she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize