It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
