I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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