I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
