I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
