The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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