i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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