i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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